I've noticed about myself that whenever I don't feel okay, or when my hormones are going haywire (wc is kinda normal bc of my period?) I turn to astrology. I think it's mostly because the stars tell me what I want to hear, although unfounded. Lol.

But here, I'm told you feel something for me too, and man, I kinda want to live in that delusion. I don't know the time of your birth or where exactly were you born, but you did say you've lived in Muntinlupa when you were younger... idk. If my memory serves me right, your big 3 should be Sagittarius sun, Aries moon, Pisces rising. Lol. 

I'm sorry that I couldn't immediately read the script you were so proud of. It was so hard for me to look at anything from you. I wanted to think of you and reminisce about you under my own terms. I couldn't deal with reality, with your actual self kasi it hurt. My way of coping has always been "out of sight, out of mind" nga kasi di ba? 

So there.

I've been thinking about you a whole fucking lot. I didn't realize there was another playlist.

I still miss you, but I think I've poured my heart out so much na. I'm also not gonna do anything now kasi parang sinasabayan ko lang yung novelty ng Valentine's. And my feelings for you is more than that one day in a year na hindi nga holiday, e. Lugi na ako sobra. Di naman to contest, pero you know how to go after what you want kasi, e. I'm just not it kaya ganito. Gets naman. Oks lang. Oks na lang.

Nakita ko lang 'to. And I'm listening to that playlist.

Ry ang unfair. We wanted to be in each other's lives for as long as possible, di ba? This wasn't even long. I don't consider this long. This doesn't mean my criteria of long at all. I miss you so much. Ang daya nito. Mali ba na hanapin ka? Feeling ko hindi naman e. 

Oo gusto ko lol pero shunga bakit mo tatanungin kung ayaw mo rin namang marinig yung sagot, e nung unang beses akong umamin ayaw mo e. Wag kang magtanong ok? Looking back now, parang ang saya pa lalong umasa lmao

Funny lang na ganito dati tas ganito na ngayon 

Eto yung uminom ako sa inyo lol e kesa sabihin ko sa'yo di ba

Nakita ko pa yung nakwento kong nagsabi ka na kung maging tayo baka hindi magwork, labag sa loob akong umagree nun. 

Nabanggit mo na nga palang may ex ka dati. So I guess, if you really wanted to, you would've. Totoo naman. Alam ko naman to. Alam ko. Hahahahaha :) 24 yrs old na ako pero bakit ganito hahahaha

I want to wait, and I happily would if you need me to. We still have so much to do and accomplish pa naman din kasi for ourselves, but I wish there was something to hold on to, no matter how small.

I don't want that script to be the last of me in your life. If possible, I don't want for me to have a last with you. That may have not made sense but what I'm trying to say I want us to be in each other's lives until whenever, death siguro. Alam mo, kahit pa ako yung maiwan. Or ikaw kung anong gusto mo. Pero willing akong i-overcome yung pagkaayaw kong maiwanan just for us to be together for longer.

I want you for the long-term, you know. Willing nga ako mag compromise kung hanggang friendship lang e. Okay na yun. Ikaw mismo naman yung gusto ko e, pero kung ganito, e di ano na? Can't I overstay my welcome?

Anyway, as you already know, yeah, I love you. I want to say it as nonchalantly as possible kahit na obvious sa mga previous entries kong it's the opposite haha but this is me trying to keep a straight face I guess look at me surround it with a lot of other words to hide it hahahaha defensive e haha

Alam mong makulit ako. And determined. Baka naman pwedeng madala ka ulit sa ganyan ko lol.

Anw I plan to book a room na may bathtub for myself sa una kong sahod wc will be on the 28th pa hays hehe sama ka eme

I couldn't tell you then that when you sent that Truly, Madly, Deeply song, I was crying in the middle of the street. I clearly remember that night. I was crying kasi I badly wished you'd feel for me like in the song, because it's true. You've seen everything. 

Siguro fav song ko atm yung I Couldn't Be More In Love. Alam kong hinype mo sa akin 'to dati and I snubbed it kasi pa-cool ako at insistent sa pagiging hater ko ng The 1975, but yeah, I was wrong.

Happy valentine's. Nagpipigil ako sobrang wag pang sabihin. Buti na lang takot akong i-block mo ako. That's enough to stop me from emailing you.

Please come back. I'll be good to you. I'll do my best to be always be better. You've said many times you don't want to add to my list of worries, but my feelings are manifesting into a physical headache for some reason, and if you think there's something in you that thinks maybe you like me too, I was hoping we could give it a shot. At some point in time. I hope that timing eventually goes my way. 

Everyone's telling me to let this go. Will I ever move on from you tho? I keep finding you again and again one way or another. Let me be good to you. 

I want to keep sending you songs. 

Love this bit from this song:

"I want you

I hold one card

That I can't use

But I want you"

I guess I'll just have to keep missing you for now.