Nakita ko lang sa Twitter:

My insecurities are hitting me a little too hard right now, but I want you so much that I pray to the universe for you. 

Ang pangit dito sa current work ko. Para akong bumalik sa wala akong experience tapos queueing. Outbound daw e para naman kaming robot lang na sinalang sa inbound queue. Anyway, I have a plan. Ganun na lang. Saka ko na kwento pag may nasimulan na ako or baka pwedeng maging kasosyo na lang sa kainan niyo shuta hahaha

Para akong robot. Mas ok pa trabaho dun sa inalisan ko, kaso di ko na masikmura sistema ng support team lol

Kumusta ka?

Edit:

Pota teh I didnt expect this hahaha eto pala ang sinasabi ng mga astrology shit na blessing because:

28k teh.

Kaso kasi eto na nga, ilalatag ko na ang balak ko. Balak ko kasi maghome credit para sa magandang laptop tapos magstay lang ako dito sa Firstsource long enough para may malagay lang ako sa proof of employment.

Maganda nang may personal laptop ako para makapag practice na rin ako ng Adobe stuff. Wala akong balak mag call center habambuhay. Gusto ko rin magpursue ng career sa creative industry alam mo yun? Kahit ano, basta dun. O kaya i-hire mo na ako rekta. Hehe. Yieee.

Balak ko ring mag enroll ulit sa susunod na school year. Basta anytime this year, tatapusin ko na back subjects ko. Para pwede na ako magtingin tingin ng trabaho sa media. May classmates akong nag-a-apply na e. Wala akong solid plan, kasi I wanna leave enough wiggle room for allowances, in case shit doesn't work my way.

I don't know what to do. Pag kasi bumalik ako sa Teamspan, syempre di ako makakaalis agad kasi di ko sila pwedeng gaguhin like dis. Kaso kasi... Small steps, okay? Maging stable lang talaga ako sa career, sisimulan ko yan. 

***

Going back to you dahil ikaw naman talaga ang main topic dito, mannnnn. How can a girl not go delusional if the universe sends out messages like this huh?

🥺 Alam mo, ganito lang ako, pero mahaba pasensya ko at kaya kong magtimpi para sa mga gusto ko, eh gusto kita.

***

Balik sa akin, alam mo, kahit na this isn't far from the life I've dreamt for myself, I'm glad I don't feel as hopeless. Ayun. I haven't turned 180°, don't get me wrong. Lol. I just don't find anything wrong with living one day at a time. It's less overwhelming pa nga. I'm okay with where I am today. 

Nakausap ko mama mo kanina lang. Buti pa mama mo, nakakausap ko. Hinanap din ako ng mama mo, aba. Ikaw hindi. Sakit nun onti ah.

Alam mo, hindi ako bobits and sumagi na rin naman sa isip ko countless times that you'll eventually find a person you'd want to do things for (romantically). It's not like I want to keep you on a leash, tie you with ball and chain. Of course, I want you, pero accepting naman ako methinks. 

Or maybe because kalmado na ako ulit ngayon.

Pero miss pa rin naman kita. But I can go on with my days. Pero this isn't indifference, in case you think it is. I hope the previous entries have shown enough that it's far from that. I'm just levelheaded, I guess. Just not level headed enough to get over you LOL 

3rd year ka na pala, e no? Maaabutan mo na ako. I'd like to work with you on something one day, truly. Preferably, yung legally bound tayo para kahit magkaroon tayo ng disagreement, at the end of the day, tayo pa rin ang magkasama lol. I wonder how that'll turn out. I'm mostly indifferent about where my life is headed, but I'm hopeful about that potential. Lol. Your mom said you're still sleeping at this hour. Naol.

I should be going to BPI para asikasuhin bank account details ko, pero syempre tinatamad ako. Dumagdag pa 'tong offer ni Ainge. Nasira ko nga pala monitor ko kagabi lmao

Alam mo, I'm not much, but I'm willing to compromise with you as much as I can. I hope I get a chance one of these days with you.

I saw this too:

Maybe I should prepare my email to you. Alam mo, I actually already did but idk. Idk how to sun everything up, enough so you'd see it all, enough for me to be certain I'm not leaving out anything. I don't know if words will ever be enough for you to think of my feelings as sincere enough.

Alam mo, baka ang hopeful or slightly delusional pakinggan nito, pero my dude na hindi ko talaga dude, ika nga ng Bread o ni Ben & Ben, whichever you prefer, I want to make it with you. Lol. Like, I'm perfectly aware it's not going to be sunshine and rainbows for the future, but if love is just a matter of "picking your poison", you're it. Di ka naman poison, per se ha. Pero gets mo naman di ba? Ayun. I want to overcome things with you. I want to fall down and get up with you.

Alam mo, kung totoo ang manifesting at matupad 'tong hiling kong mag-meet din tayo halfway, iiyak ako sa tuwa, I think my heart will jump for joy.

I always wonder about you, Ryan.