Masaya magmahal and things do not feel as heavy as they normally do, but why do I feel like things are not real for some reason

Nawala yung iba kong tinype dito pero ang song mo ay thru the fire ni Chaka Khan kasi lahat kaya niya tahalin alamg alang sa pag ibig kasi masarap naman talaga magmahal ayun lang babay may iba la ako sinabi peor pagod na ako ulitin hahahahaha

 Gusto kong makatulog na pero di ko rin magawa. I felt like shit, and I kid you not, only my dog is keeping me alive right now. Haha. It slightly helped din na magbasa ng bad reviews about my work company on Indeed hahaha I cried for a good five minutes and then started feeling better after giving my dog the skrimtches. It's calming to just watch her exist and go about her day and eat and whatever gnite no song today my phone is broken, some parts of the screen are unresponsive bye

 Nagisa ako sa work today. I feel like crap. Haha. My phone is also broken as in some part of the screen is unresponsive. So happy Saturday I guess. 

 I still haven't finished Mulholland Drive, but here are two songs for you!

I've been trying to finish Mulholland Drive, but I feel so tired lately. I will never drink again on a Sunday!!! Kasi ang ending umiinom pa rin kami till Monday morning and pagod ako till now. May OT pa ako mamaya 🥹🥹🥹🥹

 Yellow!

I have been off Instagram for a while now, well, my main account at least. I kept one account for this one friend kasi wala siyang Twitter/ayaw niya ibigay. Oks lang.

I've been on Twitter mostly. Malapit na rin ako mag-one month away from IG. Love it. My boss asked if I want to be a part of a GC on Messenger, dun sila nagpaplano ng stuff or announce ng updates. I refused. Eh isa nga ang work sa dahilan kung bakit ayoko maging reachable eh. Traumatized sa OT yorn. Hahaha emz.

May nakita akong post ba, ang sabi (non-verbatim), ang mga may karapatan lang daw mag-isolate like what I'm doing now is yung mga taong established na raw.

Masaya naman ako sa ginagawa ko. Bakit ba. Tsaka sa totoo lang, naaasar lang naman ako. Kahit naman nung may socmed ako, parang wala pa rin naman akong kaibigan. Wala akong go-to people lol so oks na rin tong ganito. Wala namang kinaibahan. At least I don't waste energy loving people who don't really share the same energy.

May nag-aaya sa aking lumabas ngayon, sa MOA raw tatambay. I hate malls. Hahahaha. I also hate people right now. While I want to break out of my routine, do something different ba, galit din ako sa mundo eh.

 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Tsaka sa totoo lang, hirap na akong i-navigate yung circle of friends na yun kasi yun yung same circle na may bad rep ako for hooking up with someone. 

I also did something terrible to my (ex-?) office crush, but that's another story, and I'm too out of it to elaborate. IYKYK. 

Ok that's it for the day basta galit ako sa mundo ATM lol

Ang song for the day ay wala basta FYI nag-aadik ako kay Usher dahil sa Tinydesk niya

Charot meron — eto. 

Grabe, kakaiba yung pagod ko today pero di naman ako inaantok. Gusto kong uminom pero pagod din ako. 

 Yellow!

Yesterday was a weird day. So, I got drunk at my boss's place. Hindi ako nagkalat sa bahay ng boss ko!! Dun lang sa ride home pauwi 🤡 I remember crying kasi the workmate who dropped me off sounded angry 

Anw I wish I could work from home and it's so weird when I woke up kasi may blue face mask sa sahig ng kwarto ko tapos may bag ng suka and the latter is so out of character of me

I also woke up naked 

Happy payday! We are not preganté!!! Hurray!!!!

I feel so down tho. I won't elaborate na muna. No song. I've just been listening to Michael Jackson and Toto lately. 

I'm not okay, I feel so exhausted. 

I changed my mind. I have a song for you. 

An iron fist in a velvet glove, ganda lang ng phrase. 

I'm sure I have friends, I don't really feel like I still have any left. I'm not comfortable opening up to them anymore about how I feel or when I feel vulnerable, like right now. There's someone who's open to listening to me now I guess, pero ayoko na magsalita kasi I'd only feel like a burden to her. So I'll just keep talking to her at least. 

 Am I preganté or does God love me?? We shall find out in a week ahha

Your song. 

This too. 

I feel a little numb. 

Anyway there was this dress from an ukayan nearby and I felt like a Star Wars character or something kaso di siya kasya haha

Ge

What a weird and exhausting day. I'd tell you more about it, but I've been getting 2 consistent views on my blog lately, so it appears there's an unwelcome intruder here. Like, if I never gave you access here why are you so intrusive lol

The only one welcome here is that one consistent viewer Ive had on here for years, not this noob. 

Get off my space and get your own. 

 Had a bad dream today. Hinuhuli ako ng pulis, I was trapped insidemy Davao home. Papatayin nila ako, tapos andun yung officemate ko sa panaginip ko. Siguro kung hindi pa ako nagising baka umiyak na ako ulit sa tulog ko. 

 Had a talk with someone just now whom I upset over a joke I made. Anyway the conversation led me to thinking about what I'm looking for in a partner. I need someone I just like and whom I wouldn't have to make any huge adjustments for, someone whom I wouldn't have to uproot my whole life for just to be with. Or, since love is love, if I find someone whom I love so much that I'd want to change a huge part of my life for, at least someone I can have a goal with for the future. Of course, given na yung shared values. 

Ultimately, it still boils down to compatibility. This was brought on kasi I learned that there are people who seek love by looking for which necessities of theirs can be met by the other person. Baka ganun nga yun sa iba, it's none of my business. That's not my definition of compatibility kasi, and if it's theirs, then that's not an issue at all. At least I learned what doesn't work for me. 

 So I was craving cake di ba haha may nagdala sa work kanina hahahaha nakamenos pa ako tenkyu

Song! 

 A friend and I were messing around hanggang sa napunta yung usapan sa hindi pagbati kay Dennis Padilla nung mga anak niya nung Father's Day, tapos nagjoke akong batiin niya tatay ko.

Nakita ko yung Facebook ng tatay ko at naawa ako kasi nangangayayat na nga talaga siya. Kalbo na rin siya. To be fair, panot naman na talaga tatay ko for as long as I can remember, but he's never looked as old as he does now.

Kinuwestyon ko saglit yung sarili ko at desisyon ko, pero pinipilit kong hindi ko talaga kakayanin kung magkasama man kami sa iisang poder ulit. Hindi talaga.

I snooped around my dad's Facebook and saw that he still talks to my harasser. Nawala amor ko.

Naisip kong valid naman, baka hindi kakailanganin ng tatay kong kaibiganin yun kung siguro andun ako para suportahan siya, pero parang ang laking sakit sa ulo lang ng tatay ko. Di ko siya kakayanin. 

I'd be in danger too, if I stayed close to my father. I wish I wouldn't be. 

For some reason, I feel so unwanted.

Go away, Tin. 

Nagpa-reading ako recently ba:

A friend and I have been talking and haha natamaan ako sa sarili kong sinabi wow

Pero oks na yan. Ang ganda ng sinabi niya sa dulo. I'm reminded of how love works. 

I don't feel "sana all" vibes. I'm just in awe, as if I'm being reintroduced to the most basic of all basics that is love.

Man, that is love. 

Kahit parang gusto mong mantiris ng tao minsan, ang galing din ng ganito. Kasi palawak nang palawak yung isip mo, kaya mas palalim nang palalim yung nararamdaman mo. And ang galing.

Siguro, basta sinusubukan niya talaga laging ayusin yung issues niya, at lagi lang nating alalahaning magkakaiba tayo ng pace, na wag tayong magalit nga sa mga bagay na kaya natin pero hindi pa kaya ng iba, then the relationship won't be anything but stronger. Ang galing. Parang epiphany ba. Haha

Ok gnite

Song

 I want cake. Hirap maging mahirap . 

Ang funny sa panaginip ko ba sabi ng isang character, "Di ko maintindihan sarili ko bakit ang dami kong libro. Sino bang kalaban ko?" Hahahahha

And four views? Weird.