Maybe there's nothing wrong with sitting down with my feelings and admitting that I really felt deprived and starved sa relationship ko. Nothing against my ex, I just tolerated things that I didn't want. Binalikan ko last call namin, and I remember wishing he doesn't give up on love habang ang sabi niya sa akin eh mas maging parang assertive ako about the things I want...

I want to be treated like a girl, yun lang. I think I'm low-maintenance but I still want to feel like a girl. Nakita ko 'tong Thread na 'to and boy do I relate.

Nag-install ako ng TikTok para sana sa liveselling ng officemate ko kaso nakita ko following list ng ex ko, puro mga babaeng ma-boobs. Napakasagwa dahil nakita ko yan haha pero in a way, I feel validated na I made the right decision. Tangina, buti nga nakipaghiwalay ako. Wala na talagang balikan 'to.

I've been doing surprisingly well  these days. I really must've checked out of the relationship before we even broke up.

Pero ikatlo kasi, nakita ko cringe kong videos na ginawa FOR FREAKING WORK. Awat na please.

In other news, I guess I life'd today

Obviously, I didn't play but it was still fun to watch. Ang admirable ni Erika for being so open to life and to experiences, and for not being afraid to look stupid for the sake of trying. I wish I could get over my complex haha 

I feel a bit sad kasi wala akong bday plans. I've lost touch with most of my friends outside work and I only have a few friends from work na genuine and pwede kong dalhin in real life.

Sucks.

I have to be okay with myself.

Letting you in on a little secret—ang high school ng vibe ng utak ko today kasi I've been thinking, Ah, I have to be careful not to stare too long so no one finds out about this silly crush.

Kailan kaya matatapos ang fixation na ito? I need to stop feeding the delusion.

Song on repeat today