I feel a bit resentful towards Matt. Idk if nalalason lang utak ko kasi I know I'm not in a good place right now. We haven't been intimate for a long time. We also don't do the things I want or visit the places I want to. I'm also not happy about work and I don't have friends anymore.

I'm okay being alone naman, it's not like I'd want to talk to people din right now. I'll most likely just push them away. Ang hirap lang ngayong ganito nararamdaman ko. I don't remember gaano katagal nang nakatambak hugasin ko sa lababo and yung labada ko. More than a month na siguro. It's that bad.

I want to get out of this but I feel glued to my bed. Obviously I also don't like myself right now.

I kind of want to push Matt away din.