I'm having a hard time breathing and I can't take a nap din bc of caffeine I feel so restless I don't feel ok. im really trying to feel okay, I'm scared na maulit yung parang lumulutang ako at humihiwalay yung consciousness ko sa katawan ko na nakatitig lang ako sa screen ko for hours tapos I felt frozen I think it's close. Sana di matuloy. I really am trying to be okay. I feel fucking sad. 

I hate looking back at the risks I've taken where I looked stupid because I know I was really trying then. I hate looking stupid when I actually try. Wala naalala ko lang. 

I wanna cry. I dyed my hair again, mixed Paprika Power and Chestnut brown cellowax, but it only made my hair even more orange