Do mothers ever stop becoming mothers?
From the moment you had knowledge that a new life would sprout from your womb, you started being a mother. Despite all the hardships, you endured. You fought all the hindrances that came your way. It was easier to just let me go back then. But you did not give me up.
You did not stop being a mother then.
I cannot even begin to imagine how agonizing it must have been to look at me and my father and see the reality of our situation, but I'm sure it must have been hard. You tried your hardest to fight every nightmare, every fear, every struggle... When things were going downhill, you still exhausted your efforts to keep the family together. But then again, it takes two to tango.
You did not stop being a mother then.
You were my mother, my bestfriend, my confidante, my playmate, my karaoke partner, my style icon (and I would remember when we would wear matching outfits), my guardian angel, my security guard, my nurse, my teacher (I know you remember "The cat sat on a mat.", "Jake's mother baked a cake for Jake to take to the laaake!!") I had a happy childhood, and it was all thanks to you. I'm sorry that the price of that beautiful childhood was nothing but pain for you.
You did not stop being a mother then.
You made me understood that you had to leave my side, that we could be together forever if I could accept living in the streets without nothing to eat. It must have been hard for you to leave. But you did for my sake. I have an idea about how hard it was when you were out there looking for a job. You overcame it all with your strength. And you did it all for me.
You did not stop being a mother then.
When dad got into the accident, despite having separated already, you came into the rescue.You assisted and helped him when no one else wanted to. You did it because you did not want me to grow up without a father. Everything that happened and was done to you by dad, you disregarded. Because of me.
You did not stop being a mother then.
For many years, I grew up without you. My dad would label you the "Pari" because whenever you would call from abroad, most of the conversation was about scoldings and what I should or should not do. It got irritating at some point, but then, I understand now. I'm sorry I did not get it before. You could not be with me back then and be a mother like how typical families are, but you proved that you still are my mother with the weight of every word you said over the phone.
Truly, you did not stop being a mother then.
When you found out about what I went through with my father, you went out of your way to save me and bring me to Davao. You risked your job, a lot of money, time, efforts... It was the worst of times and yet, it was also the best of times. I learned that I have another family who can also support me.
You did not stop being a mother then.
High school. We know what happened at the end of high school. You came home to an abyss of disappointments. Words would not even suffice how it must have been for your part, knowing you did everything you could. I'm sorry I was very unfair. But you never gave up. You brought me back to Davao, and supported me. You put yourself last. Your health, last.
You did not stop being a mother then.
I left. Not out of anger, but of suffocation. But when I checked my Skype, who left a message there but you? You gave me your blessing. You forgave me. You spoke to me!
Mom, I'm so sorry that I have been a disappointment to you. That I wasted my life, my time, my potential, and so much more over the past. But thanks for not giving up on me. It pains my heart to know how life is turning out for you over there. I feel helpless. But I want to ease you of the burden of worrying about me (But can anyone really do that? Worrying for their child is forever a parent's problem, I'm afraid.)
I did not understand why you were what you are. Pero salamat. Pasensya kasi hindi kita in-appreciate. Na hindi ko pinatunayang worth it ako. Sa ngayon, I still have some waking up to do. I'm sorry for every rude alibi I provided, for every disrespectful action I did and everything that broke your heart. I'm sorry I did not play your partner-in-crime. Iniwan kita. Aayusin ko muna sarili ko ngayon, mommy, para pag nagkita pa tayo, I will be someone you can be proud of. Walang halong biro, ikaw talaga ang the best mom ever. Given the chance to choose my mother in the next lifetimes to come, you will be my choice. Ikaw lang yata ang makaka-handle sa akin.
Sana maging masaya ka na, mommy. You deserve so much more that what you have gotten. Happy mother's day. I'm sorry. I love you.
From the moment you had knowledge that a new life would sprout from your womb, you started being a mother. Despite all the hardships, you endured. You fought all the hindrances that came your way. It was easier to just let me go back then. But you did not give me up.
You did not stop being a mother then.
I cannot even begin to imagine how agonizing it must have been to look at me and my father and see the reality of our situation, but I'm sure it must have been hard. You tried your hardest to fight every nightmare, every fear, every struggle... When things were going downhill, you still exhausted your efforts to keep the family together. But then again, it takes two to tango.
You did not stop being a mother then.
You were my mother, my bestfriend, my confidante, my playmate, my karaoke partner, my style icon (and I would remember when we would wear matching outfits), my guardian angel, my security guard, my nurse, my teacher (I know you remember "The cat sat on a mat.", "Jake's mother baked a cake for Jake to take to the laaake!!") I had a happy childhood, and it was all thanks to you. I'm sorry that the price of that beautiful childhood was nothing but pain for you.
You did not stop being a mother then.
You made me understood that you had to leave my side, that we could be together forever if I could accept living in the streets without nothing to eat. It must have been hard for you to leave. But you did for my sake. I have an idea about how hard it was when you were out there looking for a job. You overcame it all with your strength. And you did it all for me.
You did not stop being a mother then.
When dad got into the accident, despite having separated already, you came into the rescue.You assisted and helped him when no one else wanted to. You did it because you did not want me to grow up without a father. Everything that happened and was done to you by dad, you disregarded. Because of me.
You did not stop being a mother then.
For many years, I grew up without you. My dad would label you the "Pari" because whenever you would call from abroad, most of the conversation was about scoldings and what I should or should not do. It got irritating at some point, but then, I understand now. I'm sorry I did not get it before. You could not be with me back then and be a mother like how typical families are, but you proved that you still are my mother with the weight of every word you said over the phone.
Truly, you did not stop being a mother then.
When you found out about what I went through with my father, you went out of your way to save me and bring me to Davao. You risked your job, a lot of money, time, efforts... It was the worst of times and yet, it was also the best of times. I learned that I have another family who can also support me.
You did not stop being a mother then.
High school. We know what happened at the end of high school. You came home to an abyss of disappointments. Words would not even suffice how it must have been for your part, knowing you did everything you could. I'm sorry I was very unfair. But you never gave up. You brought me back to Davao, and supported me. You put yourself last. Your health, last.
You did not stop being a mother then.
I left. Not out of anger, but of suffocation. But when I checked my Skype, who left a message there but you? You gave me your blessing. You forgave me. You spoke to me!
Mom, I'm so sorry that I have been a disappointment to you. That I wasted my life, my time, my potential, and so much more over the past. But thanks for not giving up on me. It pains my heart to know how life is turning out for you over there. I feel helpless. But I want to ease you of the burden of worrying about me (But can anyone really do that? Worrying for their child is forever a parent's problem, I'm afraid.)
I did not understand why you were what you are. Pero salamat. Pasensya kasi hindi kita in-appreciate. Na hindi ko pinatunayang worth it ako. Sa ngayon, I still have some waking up to do. I'm sorry for every rude alibi I provided, for every disrespectful action I did and everything that broke your heart. I'm sorry I did not play your partner-in-crime. Iniwan kita. Aayusin ko muna sarili ko ngayon, mommy, para pag nagkita pa tayo, I will be someone you can be proud of. Walang halong biro, ikaw talaga ang the best mom ever. Given the chance to choose my mother in the next lifetimes to come, you will be my choice. Ikaw lang yata ang makaka-handle sa akin.
Sana maging masaya ka na, mommy. You deserve so much more that what you have gotten. Happy mother's day. I'm sorry. I love you.