Ayoko lang talagang mangayayat ng sobra si Bebu. Sana yung kukupkop, habaan din pasensya nya. I love this dog so much and wouldn't give her up if housing isn't an issue.
It's heartwarming how she shared she had to say I'm her daughter. It feels nice.
Nakita ko ring di ko pala pwede iwanan si Bebu sa tatay ko kasi, 2nd heartbreaking thing, eto na itsura ng bahay sa Batangas—
Bahay nga, inabandona, aso pa kaya. Hindi ako kumpyansa. Pero in a way, mainam na ring I was led to look for my father's info because, 3rd heartbreaking thing, he doesn't look that well. Here's a pic from a few days ago based on a mini-investigation.
Hindi ko alam anong gagawin ko.
All my life, I was reminded again and again of how relationships are fleeting, even the ones you'd expect to stick. I feel like an anomaly, like may kulang o mali sa akin. I'm about to lose my dog, the only other living being that's my constant.
My mom still hasn't spoken to me, and has probably decided to disown me too, and idk what to do about my dad. I don't know which is better, losing your peace or carrying the guilt of abandoning someone very important. There doesn't seem to be a way to win at all.
I just want a place where I can rest easy and grow my roots, but I can't seem to have that in this life. Reyn said this is the life where all I have to do is just heal. I think of my dad and I'm back to disliking myself.
I just want a home, you know? I just want someplace that I know will always be there for me no matter what. I feel like I always have to carry my own weight in this life, like I always need to be ready to leave anytime because there's no place I can stay. I can't reminisce on my childhood, because there's not much to look back on. My memories are fuzzy, and any physical reminder of it wasn't handled with care by the people who I thought would.
I could die and be gone in this world, and leave no significant trace that I ever existed.
I don't want different. I just want a quiet, boring life, with boring, stereotypical drama. I'm tired of the uncertainty. I can't be walking on eggshells my entire life.
Sucks not to have a family.
I hate my landlord.
And sana hindi maging hesitant si Matt mag-vent sa akin. Di naman ako nahatak ng problema nya. I'm all for hearing thoughts other than my own. Keeps me from spiralling din.
I wish I didn't have to give Bebu up. Matt's even open to getting used to her already.
My current faves:
