unta makakita na ko ug purpose uy or anything to be passionate abt idk im too loud and outspoken and passionate to live a quiet life i dont feel alive

not sad, just still feeling lost lol i had more direction and drive when i was in my teens

i kno it may take longer than i would like it to before i find my rhythm. i may never even find it at all. and even when i say in jest na ako na lang ang nag adjust ng pangarap since all the cards are/were stacked against me,

how ive been living doesnt seem right. im too intense of a person to have no dreams or ambition or any clear passion. i can't just waste away the years like this, waiting around until im finally sucked dry of life

i know im capable and driven when i want smth but idk what to do or where to go. one side of me thinks im too old for this shit but i also know im not. where do i put all these? what are these for? 

i cant want something halfheartedly. otherwise, i will not see it thru

knowing doesnt rly take u that far. 

i miss the times when i was sure of myself, when i would beg bc i wanted smth so much. and i was never a doormat and so i'd never be taken advantage of despite being desperate. i'd even take pride in my desperation bc whats wrong with wanting smth so badly that you'd do anything?

i havent fully figured out yet if im still scared of wanting or if i rly dont want it like i did before

i dont have it in me to just want something halfheartedly