I'm surprised it's never come up in conversations how my setup was with my father, but we broached over the topic of why I don't like our house there. 

I don't have anywhere I can call home and anything I could leave behind for proof that I once was, was disposed of just like that. I don't care about not being this very important, brilliant person more than being like someone who never existed. Siguro kaya rin inuunahan ko na. The most I will be when I die is just another dormant profile on a social media website, good for nothing and back to non-existent should those websites stop running. 

And if that's how I'll end up, then what have I lived my life for? 

You can't say I should live it for myself because if I fully had my way, I wouldn't even. I'd have ended it awhile back.