i hate my brain i think everyone hates me right now tbh and im annoyed at everyone and i think i just wanna go home and play with my dog. we played some sort of fetch earlier this morning and i was a little productive at home i did a bit of the laundry and also picked up my clothes from the laundryshop ahah i feel sad i feel sad i feel sad i feel sad i feel sad and dizzy and shitty 

on one hand i lich rally googled "why feel shitty after criticism" and i thought it's because im ultimately a self absorbed bitch (which i can be, admittedly) but not to self diagnose pero this kinda made me feel valid but hindi ako magmamarunong 

https://adaa.org/learn-from-us/from-the-experts/blog-posts/consumer/criticism-depression-and-anxiety

maybe i am depressed? who knows right god i hate seeing the people here i want them off my sight

anyway, this is not to say that i cannot take criticism. i can! and the people i trust are honest! just as i am honest with them! hays. i fucking hate work. i cannot function right now. i woke up at 7:07 PM it's a fucking miracle i am not late for work (thank u angkas) i hate my boss i hate work i fucking hate work i wanna cry i wanna cry i fucking hate how worthless it makes me feel i feel so fucking worthless i kinda wanna die 

wow damn everyone's in a bad mood :c this feels awful :c and heavy :c it's making my head hurt and i think i really wanna cry yeah im just holding back my tears cause im in the office god.

yeah i couldnt stop them from falling anyway i really hate myself right now 

wow feels like im dissociating again ahaha