Oh my fucking god.

I don't know if it's right that I've finally let loose and believed I'm safe or if this is my reminder not to. 

I'm lucky to be bone dry exhausted to spend even a second of my waking hours ruminating on this. 

Counted na ba 'to as away? Pero buti hindi nag-escalate kasi ang super minor ng puno't dulot. Hahaha. Pero ayun, mag-aaway na nga lang, kilig pa rin. Okay, mas naintindinhan ko na extent ng pake ni Matt sa akin. Secret na lang how, pero may pake pala siya talaga. To quote Karylle, "Hindi ako disposable" hindi pala talaga (I mean realistically hindi ako indispensable pero if pwedeng agapan, eh di aagapan)

 Dahil dito, OK FINE. AKO NA NGA ANG GOLDEN RETRIEVER SA RELATIONSHIP NA 'TO. TANGGAP KO NA.

Kasi naman, pag siya na yung nagsasalita ng ganyan, akala mo ako yung may birthday eh lintek na yan. 🥺 Grabe na 'tong relationship na 'to???? Bakit ganito???? Bakit instant mood fix?????? Grabe ka na uniberso multiberso. Nawala antok ko sa kilig. Parang pinisil puso ko. 

In other news, minsan, namimiss ko yung friendship namin ni Ryan. Feeling ko pag nagkrus kami ulit ng landas, it'll be as if we were never apart. 

I've finally acknowledged na I'm not as motivated to finish school anymore. Idk what to do with my life. May the cosmos guide me. 

 Feels like I'm near the end. 

I'm tired of yapping about the same old shit. This isn't a change in perspective, just burnout. I could share more, but I don't have it in me to further elaborate. Take care. 

 Not sure if nawawalan na nga siya ng gana or what, but the energy has changed. Pero ayoko namang maging dagdag sa iisipin niya if ever. So bahala na ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I know he was busy din, pero he was busy din other times and di naman ganito yung energy. Di ko na rin siya masyadong pinepester kasi ayoko namang mabwisit na rin siya kasi puro ako na lang so hinahayaan ko na lang siya. 

I'm contemplating if papasok ba ako ng 29 or magpapahinga. 

His fear has also become my fear.