We're now okay.
Thanks for dropping by and checking in. I like how we talked about it; it wasn't angry and messy and deafening like in the movies. Think Baumbach's Marriage Story. You know which part. And we were far from that scene. I think we handled it pretty well.
Some days, he makes me want to start dreaming again and tonight, he's reminded me that even with the bad, when it's with his company, it's easier to brush them off and just take them on. I hope this doesn't sound dependent. I think I've coped with my life okay naman on my own so far, but it's different when your day is closely linked with someone. It's the same level of difficulty when you're on your commute past the wee hours of the night or morning, and you have someone with you. You can't think just for yourself anymore. You have to turn your head every once in a while to make sure the other person's catching up too while you run after your ride, or better yet, you hold their hand and it's either the two of you get on or nobody does.
Siguro I say that bit kasi I remember how we still had a good time despite walking in the rain with only his small and slightly bent and worn out pink umbrella (romantic in the movies, but very shitty in real life, especially when you live in Manila, where roofs come flying off of houses every typhoon season or even when it isn't, as long as a typhoon or two spontaneously decide to pay my poor country a visit just for kicks lulz).
I like how, on the first date, it was the strolling that we both enjoyed the most, apart from each other's company, when we saw that the tickets to Manila Ocean Park were expensive. (many others would persist all to save face and appear more than what their wallet really has idk)
And even today, I enjoyed regardless of my blunder. I hope he truly did too.
I'm in love and I really love him.
I also like this compliment from him, so I'm keeping it here because no one's said this before:
Hihi.
More dramatic posts on here may still come your way on some days in the future, and I hope that he and I overcome them just as we did this one.
Looking back now that it's almost the month-end, I think me and my Scorpio sisters are thriving??? One's off to another country, another one's pregnant, someone got engaged just a few days ago.
And minor daily inconveniences aside, there's me.
While I'm not sure who or what's orchestrating everything that's transpired over the course of my life, even for just tonight, my mind is a sea of calm and I am grateful all the same–a stark contrast from a few days ago, when I was desperate to end it all.
So I'll just try my luck and throw this out to the universe—
may the rest of my tomorrows be kinder than the last.
Please and thanks.
Onto your favorite part of my entries now: