I may have just had a Eureka moment after watching a movie analysis on Whiplash lol so maybe my tendency to get drawn towards intimidating people and to find their soft spot is not me looking for a challenge but me wanting the approval of a familiar figure, since a lot of my relationships (family) have been like that—founded on abuse hahahahha I turn to a person im rly scared of/intimidated by, sort of place them on a pedestal and try to gain their approval HAHAHAHAHHAHA FUCK

Not sure if that made sense. Hope it did. Funny lang. Hahahahahahah I can't believe it hahahahahha

How do I get over this hahahahahhaha

Anw don't get me wrong I can still discern between the right and wrong amount of pressure and stress so there ahha but