It feels like there's a gaping hole in my chest, and it only keeps getting bigger and bigger, as I fiddle around the thought of working back from home again. The memory of my constant breakdowns from 2020, the urge to turn off all the lights and lie on the floor so I can cry some more, the muffling of my sobs over a phone call with a customer--I don't want to go back this route again. The office is a great distraction from the present times. I don't think I can be alone with myself like that again.