Because if they are, you just might be mine.
I don't think I'll ever tell you this, but you're the best person in my life. By far. You've been around from when I still had dreams and till now that I don't have any.
Maybe you're just supposed to show me I can be treated right. Maybe you're just supposed to show me the kind of love I want, but you can't be the one I'd love like that because it's your hand I'll be holding when he doesn't come home at night. It's your shoulder I'll be crying on in case we'll have fights. It's you I'll be calling first thing once we've made up. You'll be the constant in my life, I hope, just as I will be yours.
Just as I will be yours.
Maybe I can't have you the way I want to now because we're supposed to have something stronger.
I'll have to think of it like this to help me sleep at night.
This is not poetry or prose, just another letter maybe that won't see the light of day. Or maybe except for a stranger on this cramped space on the internet.
There's so much of the world we have yet to see, and we are both still young, and they say things might even turn around for me over time, but I can't really delude myself like that. I'm old enough to discern that we can't count on possibilities because they're nothing more than that until they happen, and this one's not within my control. You've already said no once, and I don't think you're one to change your mind over things like this, though I still wish you would.
Of course, you won't.
A lot can change in the years to come, but I hope we'll still have each other. It may not be like right now anymore, and that's alright. You said it yourself—when the time comes that we grow apart, I want us to be able to smile at the thought of each other.
I hope you know you have my back, that I'll mourn with you and cry for you and laugh with you, laugh at you, and all that.
I don't understand how you've come to mean this much to me, but you do now anyway. I want the world for you. I cannot pick out the best words to let you know how much I want the greatest things in life for you. So I won't say a thing. And I'll hold back on all these. No biggie. I need to develop restraint, anyway.
But you'll have my time. And you'll have me. It might not amount to much, but I hope it counts for something.
You told me some time last year to pour my feelings out and write to you. I'm grateful for this chance. Here's your letter. I'm sorry it's long overdue. I don't think this will be the last.