Hey,
You may or may not read this. Either way, it's okay. Wala namang nangyayari sa buhay ko, e. I guess I started distancing myself from you because I felt so disappointed when we fought, and I forgot that fighting should be normal between friends. I was hoping for a perfect friendship, and perfect by my standards meant no disagreements.
Of course, I realized that was wrong, but you know me; lisod gubaon ang walls pag nasugdan na ug tukod. The walls can betray even its own creator.
I was backreading on our previous conversations and it didn't seem that we'd only talk whenever I'm sad? But if that was how it appeared to you, I guess I have to let you know that that is what has become of your 'anak'. I've only become a lonelier person day by day.
Cheeks have been drained of color, lips have only turned drier, and it is only my bright, colored hair that I hold on to at least keep me looking happy and fun, but inside, I feel emptier than I ever have.
Maybe everyone goes through this, but that doesn't give anyone the right to trivialize or invalidate my feelings. It is not an easy process, and wherever this is going to end up, I have no idea.
The only thing I am sure of is that I am no longer the same person I was before.
I love you for your thoughts, and I do miss them. What changed, really? Maybe it was both of us. Maybe a year apart made us so accustomed to not having each other around, so don't go pinning the blame on me alone.
You are subtle, but I get what you're pointing at on that post-it you left with the book. I've finished the book earlier this morning. It is not the best book I have ever read, but it has substance. Like I said in the first email, I like "Neighbors" most of all. "Flidia" is a close second. Tragic stories have a soft spot in my heart, as always.
Writing to you feels like sending a love letter to the wind. Romantic, is it not?
Good night.