with all the good things that have happened today, i don't really feel happy.

I just feel tired.

Maybe this is just my fear of feeling happy and nice only to then crash from the high. I just feel bad.

I sent these to Matt and asked if he gets FOMO since ako nga first GF nya, and man, his answer sort of pulled me out of the funk

Hmm. Also, this helped me power through yesterday:

 

 I feel like it's hard, if not impossible, to go back to who I was before everything went downhill, and it's prolly difficult because I don't exactly know where things went south. On the other hand, I wholeheartedly believe that it's doable to attain a sense of self that's tolerable for yourself. It's not the same as regaining my old self, but I can't hate the parts of me that have matured.

Anyway, not to self-diagnose, but I think I feel depressed. I also feel detached from things or people I'm not supposed to.

I don't know how to feel okay. 

Maybe I'll be able to process and work through my feelings in the next couple of days. I hope so.

I don't know if I need you less now, but today is one of those days. Nawawalan ako ng gana sa sarili ko. It's nothing to worry about naman, it's what I call my scheduled maintenance. Hope I power through this and come out okay.

Wish I can clean up everything at work.