I feel abandoned and left out, I guess. I feel patronized when my boss apologized for not being around so much recently. She shouldn't have apologized, imo. I know she means well, that's why I'm not taking it against her. It just felt like rubbing salt on the wound. I always know naman na she's busy so it's not even that big of a deal. Siguro gumatong lang siya sa upsetting feeling ko. Tapos nag-usap kami about how we always do stuff for everyone in the team when there's an occasion, which I like! Pero may mali. They never did that for me. Kaya I feel like a middle child.

I tried to talk with Kuya Jasper about something I was sad about back then, pero I don't think he really understood when I tried opening up kaya I didn't proceed further na lang. Felt like I was shrugged off lang din.

Oo, ang petty talaga nito.

No one really does things like that for me. I just have myself. Natatawa akong isipin ngayon kasi nagcall kami ni Matt, tapos nung sinabi kong I'll just be self-sufficient, sabi niya di niya gusto yun. I'm not fully sure if he's only referring dun sa pinakakinaiinisan nyang nangyayari or in general ba, pero natawa lang akong umangal siya dun sa sinabi ko about being independent, when everytime, I'm just forced to be this way. I've been neglected a lot, so I've had to make do with it.

I'll do my best to never cry in front of him or let him hear it. After that bad fight, sorry pero dala-dala ko pa rin yun. I still feel like I'll only be mocked. 

I've been feeling so so sad lately. I don't know how to turn it around. 

Nabastusan din ako dun sa nangyari last time and the lack of acknowledgement, kaya yeah. Ayoko munang mag-elaborate. Ayokong pumasok, honestly.